My walk with God has been...

...rough, but good. During the 2-3 weeks leading up to Fall Retreat, my walk with the Lord was really rocky. I felt very empty, sterile, dark, pointless, selfish. Perhaps I had somewhat of a desire to connect with Him, but lacked the energy or wherewithall to actually do anything about it. Spending time in the Word was difficult, and my prayers were mostly a plea with God to "feel" Him again. As we talked about in How People Grow, I felt like I really came to the end of myself. It was as if all of the fluff of faith, religion, Christianity, ministry, etc. had been stripped away and I was left with the bare bones of my relationship with Christ...and it was pretty feeble-looking. Experiencing such a huge disconnect with the Lord caused me to really examine why I believe what I do and come back to the basics of Christ's grace and love. I am still in the midst of "figuring it all out," but the darkness that hung over me for a while is gone, and I am experiencing the freedom to be full of questions and frustrations right now. I feel like I am chipping away at a dense wall, but have finally gotten past the surface and am actually making some progress. -Laurie