I have experienced God as...

...conviction. It has been interesting to be in the presence of the Lord recently because I experience a lot of conviction. It has been great but also draining. I really desire to experience God in this way because it deepens my dependence on Him. This is my greatest desire.

The team

The Team in general has been a huge blessing to me and also to Nicole. We have experienced some really great community with everyone. Each of you brings something different to our lives and helps us to grow in ways we never could have imagined. Thank you so much for loving us. We love you ~ danny

I have found myself clinging to some promises of God this year such as...

..."And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to hsi power that is at work within us..." - Ephesians 3:20.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10

"Yet [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." - Romans 4:20-21

"When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.'" - Psalm 94:18-19

-Laurie

My participation in our WSN partnership has opened my eyes to...

...how hungry other countries are for the truth. Most of the students we talked with in East Asia had never heard of Jesus. Their concept of Christianity was what they saw on telivision. When they heard what Jesus had done for them and realized that His forgiveness was available for everyone, not just Westerners, they were so eager to begin a relationship with Him! Seeing their hunger for the gospel reminded me how relevant the gospel is to everyone. - Laurie

Seeing a new movement planted and growing makes me think of...

...success. Not that our job is all about numbers and results, but our mission is to see spiritual movements everywhere. When I see a new movement that is doing well, I think that (1) the Lord is at work, and (2) something has been done here that works. I want to know what it is that worked and how I can implement that in the movements I'm trying to launch. - Laurie

Because my life is a role model to other students, I am committed to...

...being authentic and vulnerable. As much as I can, I want to live a life worthy of the calling I have received (Eph. 4:1). I want to live a life that is above reproach and model the kind of life we want our students to lead. However, because I know I will fail and drop the ball at times, I want to be appropriately vulnerable with the students I'm leading. I want to show them how to live in a truth and grace relationsihp with others and with the Lord. I want them to see that it is okay to fail and that grace is available when that happens. -Laurie

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I

...thank the Lord because I do not know where it comes from. ~danny

When Students don't respond like I hoped for, I

...get really pissed and start punching them in the face. Once they fall over I kick them while there down. Oh wait that must be what goes on in my head. Just kidding. Well it is difficult when students respond in ways other than I thought, or would like. However I have found that sometimes it can be a good thing and can bring about change, even in myself. So I guess I am more on the look for whether they are responding out of thoughtfulness or just off the cuff. If it is off the cuff I would ask them to think about it some more and get back to me. ~danny

Will's soggy blogs are due in part to the bog.

When students don't respond like I hoped for, I... (Wow that's a really good prompt)

I often am disappointed. Sometimes I feel a little useless. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing my job right. Often I will revert to a lack of spirit-filledness and try and manipulate them to no avail. This makes me sad.

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I often think, "well this will be a good opportunity to see the Lord come through." Sometimes I think, "well... this is why I need to take some more steps of faith when it comes to raising support." Most times I think, "Man, I really screwed up somewhere along the line, maybe if I really impress the Lord with a good quiet time he'll bless me with more support from nowhere." Recently I've thought... "I can't understand why the Lord works the way he does, He's so good to always provide for me."

Mod 11

My financial partners know...how ministry is going right now. I have been fairly good at getting prayer letters out this year on a monthly basis. It has been enjoyable to get feedback from them when a letter goes out because in the past that has been a bit unusual.

My sleep, exercise and eating habits are...pretty great. I have felt very rested and also feel that exercise has been on the front of things as well. Just the other day I had all vegetable for dinner and lunch. It was very yummy and I have tried to stay away from the sweets. But of course I would like to reward myself every once and a while! Yum Yum!

Taking a day with the Lord is...something that has not happened yet! I have been wanting this for a while but have not been able to put it the schedule yet this semester. But soon....

rybo

Mod 10

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and...then I got a drink of water because I was thirsty from talking to so much.

My walk with God has been...ok. I've gotten good chucks of time with the Lord but haven't spent consistent, day after day time.

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is...hard sometimes. I want many time to have the ability to control what I should let up to the Holy Spirit.

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I ....

...I get really stressed out. - Palf

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I ....

...generally get really irritated. - palf

Taking a Day with the Lord is...

This seems like a daunting task to me. I have really enjoyed all of my time with the Lord recently, but taking a day with the Lord does not seem life giving. I have a fear of not being able to sit still and talk with Him for any length of time. I love reading the Word, but the idea of spending time alone with the Lord in just talking, which is what I view a day with the Lord as. ~danny

Will's noggin gets to bloggin in the 21st century...

My financial partners know how to pray for me. I just started sending out weekly prayer updates to those partners which I have email addresses for and it's been met with a great response. I usually get 3-4 email response per week from people thanking me, asking me to pray for them as well, and just letting me know that they're praying. It's great

My sleep, exercise and eating habits are unregulated. I've been thinking a little bit about this lately and I guess I should get on that.

Taking a day with the Lord just needs to happen. That's it. I read the suggestions on Godsquad about it, and was convicted about some of the wrong ideas I had about a day with the Lord and its purposes, and now I really want to do it to immerse myself in the presence of the Lord and worship him in his glory.

My sleep, exercise, and eating habits are...

My sleep and eating habits are probably close to the best they have ever been. My exercise habits could definitely be better, but I think that it is mainly because I do not have something that I truly love that would qualify as exercise. I think being more healthy in general has been very beneficial in giving me energy and exciting me for life. ~ danny

I have found myself clinging to some promises of God this year such as...

that I am a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). I come back to this verse so much, but right now I keep coming back to it. I've been sharing my story a lot lately in detail with a student in our ministry for a paper she is writing. Sharing it reminds me so much about how Jesus has changed me and how I am no longer that person but a new creation. I remind myself of this truth a lot. It's inspiring and motivational and praiseworthy for me. - Palf

My participation in our WSN partnership ha opened my eyes to...

the need to go and for students to be sent! I loved going to East Asia and really desire to go back for an extended period of time. For some reason my heart sees and desires to share the Gospel with students overseas in East Asia more than here in the states. Maybe it's because the students there seemed more open or I saw their need for Jesus more clearly. I'm not sure why, but I know that's where I'm at today. - Palf

blogging all over alan's little heart... (Will's catch up entries.)

I tooke the initiative to share the gospel leaving the results up to God and Jacob told me that he had never really understood before why someone would believe in Christianity but thought that he had a better grasp of it now. He didn't pray to recieve Christ but I'm still praying for him and hope to talk to him again sometime.

My walk with God has been soul enlarging as of late, marked by views of the Lord that blow my mind and challenge me to attempt greater things for him than I can do on my own. It has been humbling for me to realize how I can't do very much and feel very inadequate, as I struggle personally with confusion, grief and sorrow, but how accepted I am and how much God still wants to use me.

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is freeing. I took Thomas at CC through the Holy Spirit booklet and realized again for myself how little God requires of us except to put our trust and faith in him. I want to walk more in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Seeing a new movement planted and growing makes me think of...

something that I want to see happen but haven't yet. - Palf

I have found myself clinging to some promises of God this year such as...

I think at more than any other time in my life I am relying on the promises of God. I have been desperate for the Lord to give me strength to walk in a manner worthy of His calling and the wisdom to do so. I have been struck deeply by the Lord's promises of Wisdom in James, and of the power of the Holy Spirit in epistles. I definitely feel as though I am going down in quicksand and instead of being patient and waiting on the Lord to provide, I am flailing in all directions trying to grab at anything to save me. ~danny

Because my life is a role model to students, I am committed to...

thinking carefully about how I influence them by my own decisions. I've really come fact to face with this reality recently and am still grieving how my decisions to take part in stuff has influenced these students. My desire is to learn from this situation and to watch my life more carefully so I will influence them in a way that will encourage them to draw nearer to Jesus. - Palf

My Participation in our WSN Partnership has opened my eyes to ...

Well since I have not participated in ours but really desire to it is somewhat difficult for me to answer this question. ~danny

Leadership is...

really difficult. I think when I helped lead the trip to East Asia two summers ago and how challenging that was. I often consider how I never want to be a CD because of the challenges of leading a team. I struggle enough with leading in the areas I am responsible for now. I can't imagine taking on new areas of responsibility. What does that say about me? Am I lazy? Am I living in fear? Hmm... - Palf

Paul said to "follow me as I follow Christ" and when I tihnk about asking a student to follow me as I follow Christ, I...

get excited. I think it makes me realize how I need to be drawing near to the Lord every day. - Palf

Taking a day with the Lord is . . .

something I really want to do soon, but I have some fear about it. I think I'm uncomfortable with the idea of it right now because of all the drama that has occurred with Karis. I really desire to bring my whole heart before the Lord but I feel the need to meet with Kevin and share my heart with him before I feel like the Lord will connect with me. This might be totally mixed up thinking, but that's where I am right now. - Palf

My sleep, exercise and eating habits are . . .

pretty good right now. I've lost 7 lbs. on Zumba since September which has been really encouraging to me. It's also helped me to keep a right perspective on food. Sleep has been more of a challenge because Trenton is waking up more in the night right now. - Palf

My Financial Partners Know...

I am not sure what my Financial partners know about Nicole and me. I feel as though I have been disconnected with a lot of my ministry partners over the last couple of months. ~ danny

My financial partners know....

that we are still trying to raise new funds. We need to contact them again and follow-up with all of them our letter from the summer. - Palf

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is...

a challenge for me. I am highly aware recently of my desire and constant struggle with walking in the flesh. But I know that choosing for Him to fill me is greater than when I am filled with me. Lord, empty me of myself and fill me with more of you. ~Mik

My walk with God has been...

honest. I feel like I am crying out to the Lord in my hurt and pain now more than ever. I am learning a dependence on Him that I have maybe never experienced. It has also been very rich. I am learning, through a Bible study I am in, how to study the Psalms and meditate on who God really is, and believe what His Word says to be true of him, and not allow my life to be led by my feelings. ~Mik

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and...

I love the story of Rachel. We met on a Sunday after church, when I went to lunch with my parents and she was with with the family they were meeting. After learning she had initiated the process of looking for a church, and went for the first time with a family she did not know, it was obvious she was interested in spiritual things. Plus the fact that she is a college student, I was looking forward to getting to know her. Two days later we met for coffee, and I brought Knowing God Personally booklets just in case the conversation presented an opportunity to share. Long story short, she was ready to hear the gospel and decided she wants to follow Jesus. We have become great friends and we are going through follow-up together and she has joined my upperclass women's Bible study. Praise be to God for HIS work. ~Mik

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is

I find this difficult too. The struggling that I have mentioned in fresh bread the last couple of weeks has really made it tough for me to even be filled with the spirit. I am so prideful and wanting to do everything on my own that I find myself ignoring the efforts of the Spirit to prompt my heart. I am desperately seeking the Lord on changing my attitude and my heart. I realize my need to walk in the power of the Spirit because I am worthless on my own power. - danny

My walk with God has been

I have been very distracted in my time with God. I have really enjoyed my time in the Word, and definitely am connecting with the Lord in this area. However, my silent and alone time with the Lord whether listening or talking is very difficult. My mind simply will not allow me to reflect and be quiet. I have a million things that end up running through my head and taking on tangents away from the Lord. - danny

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and

Well I shared the gospel with a transfer from China, and he was very interested, but did not want to make a decision about Christ until he understood more. So I gave him a bible and told him to start reading in John. So we will see how the Lord uses the Word in his life. - danny

Watching a student share their faith with another student is...

heart warming. I watched Kate share the Gospel with students at our first small group meeting and I just marveled at how God has worked in her life over the last few years. It was awesome to see her communicating not just Biblical truth, but how that truth has intersected her life. I loved it. - Alan

Getting students to participate in a small group is like...

trying to catch the wind. No really, for me, it is. Right now we have about six students coming to our freshmen small group in Mark Twain. I feel really sad about this. It seems that people aren't that interested in it. I assume that it's because I haven't done enough to invite people or that I'm not compelling enough. I want to believe that it's not about me, but about what the Lord is doing. But then I hear that voice in my head telling me that I need to be doing more. Right now it's hard to discern if that's the Spirit or not. I really, really desire to see God use this small group to bring many, many students to faith in Christ. Father, I want to commit to giving you this small group again. I don't want to worry or stress about how many people are in it or that I'm not doing enough. God, I want you to make this group into something that would bring you the most glory. I ask that you would equip me with the knowledge, skills, and wisdom to lead well. I yield to your Spirit once again and ask that you would remind me of this prayer often. Amen. Alan

NST

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and ...then again I haven't. I have realized that my follow up type of things this year have been more for getting people there for the bible study. I wouldn't say that I balanced my evangelism vs. getting people to the bible study very well. I should have been doing both but have realized I have been lop sided.

My walk with God has been...times of great richness and also some less consistent time. Overall I feel very energized by what God has been teaching and how He has been using me.

Walking in the power of the spirit...is very exciting. It has been amazing seeing what God is doing through the bible study and such. It is hard at times to keep the Spirit on the forefront of my mind but am humbled to see how he can use our staff team and the people leading bible studies with us.

RW

Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit is...

really exhilarating. I mean, I've been seeing God move in such cool ways over the last few weeks. Last week, I had the opportunity to take a student through the Satisfied booklet. Before we started talking, I prayed silently to myself asking God to give me the words to minister to this guy. Before I knew it, we were reading through the booklet and discussing it. He responded really well and it seemed that he needed to be reminded about yielding to the Spirit. I marveled at how God showed up in the conversation.

My walk with God has been...

really going well lately. I think I have been finding time to connect with the Lord through different methods each day. I think I've been experiencing lately a deeper appreciation for what Jesus has done for me because I'm understanding more and more of my own sinfulness. - Alan

I took the initiative to share the gospel, leaving the results to God, and...

it was kind of weird. I shared with a freshman at Starbucks a few weeks ago while another older student observed. I explained it to him and asked for his responses to each section of the 4 Laws. He felt like he knew that he was in the circle on the left but wasn't ready to be on the circle on the right. He explained that he felt like he just wasn't sincere right now about the decision. I left feeling like I totally made it awkward and weird.

Module 7

Paul said to "follow me as I follow Christ", and when I think about asking a student to follow me as I follow Christ, I realize that I need to do a better job of following Christ! I want to model following Christ in such a way that it's appealing to the students I work with. I want to be authentic with my struggles, but I also want to demonstrate the joy and fulfillment that comes from following Christ in obedience and faith.

Leadership is being the ultimate servant, putting others' needs before your own. Leadership is casting vision; it's showing students I'm taking them somewhere; it's drawing on my strengths and the strengths of those around me to make things happen. Leadership is a process.

-Laurie

Seeing a new movement planted and growing makes me think of...

what I desire probably most out of this year. I am not sure if I even have correct motives in wanting to see the Lord do this. I just know I really want to see the Lord plant a new movement which will continue to grow and seek Him after I am not involved. I think my motives may be selfish in desiring this because I think I would be able to have a sense of accomplishment even though for this to take place it would totally be the work of the Lord. Which is funny to say, but I guess I would feel accomplishment in what the Lord had done. If I am wrong in this feel free to correct me. ~danny

Because my life is a role model to other students, I am committed to...

seeking the Lord with everything. I truly believe that if students learn nothing from me other than to seek and love the Lord it is okay. I think this may be one of the greatest things the Lord taught me last year through a variety of sources. We are called above everything else to seek Him, and from that the rest follows. So I am committed to teaching students to really seek out His face and ask hard questions of Him, knowing they will not be ignored. Our God is always ready and willing to meet us in the cleft if we are willing to experience the path set before us, if I may borrow the cliche from the song. ~ danny

Leadership is....

Leadership is tough, I think that this is a very difficult ability to cultivate and do well. This falls into the category of my last post about echoing Paul in saying do as I do. I think leadership is all about leading by example, and that means telling people if you need an example of how to do something watch me do it. I also have this book written by a friend of the family on the character of leadership. It talks about nine qualities of a leader, and others have defined leadership with other characteristics. I believe that true leadership is consistently striving to be like Christ and moving forward in those strivings. This sounds somewhat like a Sunday School answer, but I think that truly Jesus was the only true leader. He lead men of ignoble birth to be great men of God. So I think this question reverts back to whether or not you can say follow me as I follow Christ. ~danny

Paul said to "follow me as I follow Christ" and when I think about asking a student to follow me as I follow Christ, I ...

I would be terrified to say this to someone. I have been processing something similiar to this on my own for part of the Summer. I was talking to Nicole and we were discussing our sin, and I told her that I have never had a problem recognizing my own depravity and sinfullness. Today, actually, I was talking to Will about this same thing and told him that I have always struggled with giving myself grace in knowing how much evil and capacity for evil are within myself. So to have someone do as I do, or watch me to see how to live there life like Christ is terrifying to me. ~danny

Disappointment

When I feel disappointed with God, I get super discouraged and want to pull back. I feel like I have experienced this so much in the last couple of years especially. At our women's conference, Laurie Besonen shared that unmet expectations create doubt. I feel like this describes much of my pain. I have expectations that have been unmet, and I have been disappointed by God. However, I realize that ultimately He is not disappointing me, but really protecting and providing. I just can't always see it. ~M

New things

Well...I don't feel like I have tried a lot of new things related to this module, but one thing I know is that I am about to experience probably more new that will be comfortable once I head to Cameroon in 20 days!! I will say doing new administrative tasks in the office is fun and challenging!

Watching a student share their faith with another student is...

...lifegiving. Our goal is to share Christ with others and see students multiply their lives. When I see that happen, I get a renewed vision for my job and why I do what I do. It's very fulfilling to see students sharing their faith with other students. -Laurie

Getting students to participate in a small group is...

...sometimes easy and sometimes hard. This semester I have had a couple of really good experiences with small groups. The McDavid small group grew pretty quickly and maintained most of the attendees all semester. The McDavid leaders small group has been particularly enjoyable. Alan and I have started doing the Stripped study with Tyler, Ashley and Paige. It has been really fun to see how faith and art intersect, and it has gotten them really excited about next fall. -Laurie

Watching a student share their faith with another student is...

I cannot think of anything better than watching a student share their faith with another student. It is always a highlight when students connect on that level with other people. They always have a great time in sharing their faith, and they are able to see how important it truly is. I think it is also a great reminder to me how much I need to be sharing my faith with others. ~Danny

Getting Students to participate in a small group is like...

Sometimes I feel like I am trying to pull teeth to get them invovled, but other times it just happens without me initiating in any way. I think that students are more willing to share what they are thinking when they are okay with being vulnerable. If the students have not been vulnerable I think it is good to foster that in the small group. So a first order of business that I feel is very important in small group participation is breeding vulnerability. ~Danny

When I feel disappointed with God, I...

I am not sure I felt that it was okay to be disappointed with God until last summer. I have found new expression in being able to relate how I am really feeling with the Lord. When I feel disappointed with the Lord, I let Him know that in a verbal expression. I have found that it is very beneficial to me, to express my true feelings to the Lord. ~Danny

Trying something new was...

I really enjoy trying new things, so it is always fun for me to try new things. I am in the process of trying to build a pipe, and it is going okay. I often find that even though I like to try new things, I can often get down on myself when I feel that I have not performed to the level in which I think I should be at even if I am new. ~Danny

Leadership is...

such an elusive term, I hate it. I guess I am always trying to evaluate myself, like 'Do I exert leadership qualities? Am I a leader?' As I have learned and read about D.I.C.E. I guess I would say that I am somewhat of a leader. But then I always question myself because I am really not 'leading' anyone, therefor, am I a leader even when I am not leading anyone? I don't mean for this to be a silly question either. It's always something I have wondered about. Or is it that I am a leader, but just never really feel like one... comments welcomed...
~David

When I think about asking a student to follow me as I follow Christ, I...

... I heard this when Dan Allan went through my vision plan in San Diego. At first I was really uncomfortable thinking about saying this. But it has always been in the back of my mind since then, and it has become more and more of a desire to challenge students to 'follow me as I follow Christ.' Knowing that I am not living the christian life perfectly, but I am truly seeking to follow Christ. So I become more confident in challenging students to follow me.
~David

When I feel disappointed with God, I...

...don't know when I feel this way. Honestly, I'm not sure I feel...wait, I have. I think I have felt this way in regards to MPD. During our initial MPD time, I asked the Lord numerous times to finish our support by xyz time, but alas, He had other plans for us. I'm not sure if I would say I was disappointed with God, but I was frustrated that we had to do keep at it. I even wanted to give up at one point.

- Palf

Trying something new was...

...really, really hard for me. I recently attended the Impact Leadership Institute that Mizzou hosted. It was challenging being submerged in a completely different culture for most of the weekend. I really enjoyed what I learned, but have a new appreciation for those who find themselves totally outside their cultural context.

- Palf

When I feel disappointed with God, I...

...sometimes let my emotions get the best of me. I know the right response, and I long to automatically take my disappointment to the Lord, but I so often turn to other things and people to ease my disappointment. By His grace, I am learning to more quickly bring my feelings before Him, asking Him to heal my disappointment and hurt and to change my heart, so that I might have peace about the circumstance or situation.

-Laur

Trying something new was...

...really fun and stretching. I counted East Asia as experiencing a different culture. I had an incredible summer and loved almost every minute of being there. I've always desired to travel the world, and this was my first experience overseas, so it will always be a special memory for me. Immersing myself in the culture was incredibly challenging, from the language to the food to the way of life, but it helped me see the world from a different perspective. The best part, though, was seeing how steadfast the believers in EA are.

-Laurie

Watching a student share their faith with another student is...

a beautiful thing. It is poetry in motion. We work so hard at challenging, and training students to share their faith that when we are able to see that come to fruition, there is no greater joy. I have to admit, though, that there has been moments where I want to jump in and relieve the awkwardness. Since I have had more experience it is easy for me to want to jump in and take over the conversation because I see how the student is skipping over some potential good questions. And I know you can always bring it up during a reflection of the conversation, but there are only so many suggestions you can bring up during the critique as to not discourage them. So in some cases it is very painful to let the student grow in their ability, and not parachute in and rescue them.
~David

When I feel disappointed with God I...

Usually turn into an impatient, angry, immature whinner. I have incredibly short vision when it comes to what is best for my life and development. If something tough happens and im not able to see immediatley how it is going to be good in the long run I start throwing stuff out the window.....like my trust in the Lord. In the past I have spent time yelling and punching my mattress when things dont seem right and Im disappointed. The Lord may keep me there for a little while and I eventually learn a lot from the situation. Its usually Hebrews 12 that brings me out of a place like that. The message from that chapter soothes the anger and frustration inside me and melts it away.
"My son do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, BECAUSE THE LORD DISCIPLINES THOSE HE LOVES, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
My disappointment seems to melt away as I meditate on this scripture and I some how become thankful for my position of discomfort. It makes me proud. I want to suffer for Christ ad I want to be molded by Him. It ultimately brings my focus and MORE of my trust back to Christ.
- Dustin

Getting students to participate in a small group is like...

an art AND a science. There some basic principles you want to follow but it is impossible to rely upon them. I have discovered that the art comes in trying to molding the questions to fit the flow of the discussion, so that you can follow where the momentum is going yet cover what you meant to cover. There is nothing worse than have a great response and discussion to one question and then ask a completely different question to only kill the synergy and momentum.
~David

When I feel disappointed with God, I...

tend to focus all my efforts to please David and doubt my faith. I become so self consumed and critical of others. However, I have noticed that especially when I am disappointed with God, that community is very important to breaking my hardened heart. It is through a healthy community that I feel the love of God, and usually is the starting point to trusting God again.
~David

Trying something new was...

So uncomfortable and exhilarating at the same time. I went to an orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico and for the first hour was taken back at the reality this children were living in. After hearing about the orphanage and playing with some of the children I was so encouraged at how God was using this orphanage to take care of dozens of abandon or abused children. An experience like this help take me out of my World and realize how big God is, and how many needs there are. It helped me take the focus off my life, and help serve in any way I could.
~David

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I...

I don't know why but it just doesn't freak me out. Maybe I am too removed from it, but I also know that Alan and I have seen the Lord provide in huge ways through anonymous donations and such that I just know He is going to provide for us. I also find myself amazed at how many people faithfully and sacrificially give to us each month. This is an amazing job.

When students don't respond like I hoped for, I...

the performer in me feels like a failure. I analyze what I could have done differently, how I must not have prayed enough, or done enough to get people there. I have issues, I know. The Lord is working to reveal and change my heart, albeit slowly, but above is my initial response. I have been experiencing this lately through my Bible Studies in the College of Ed and Johnston as the attendance at both of these is so sporadic. The Lord is also using this to reveal in my heart, where my heart just isn't in things, and sometimes I go into things hoping students won't show up and I don't trust in His grace and that His Spirit will work despite me if I will trust, ask and allow it.
~Stephanie

Taking a day with the Lord is...

awesome. I desire it so much right now. I see it as sitting before Him, sharing my heart with Him, letting Him have all the little things, getting to a place where those don't rule me, so that I can really experience Him deeply. It is coming back to the relationship we're in, not rushing to get only enought of what I need to be filled, but feeling the freedom of no time limit to just be with my savior and creator. The fact that we can come before Him is amazing.

My sleep, exericise and eating habits are...

I am thankful for my Personal Development plan as it has helped me to set some much needed goals in these areas. As of right now the best of these is my eating habits. Being pregnant has helped me really think about what I am taking in and what is best for my body and little Trenton. Sleeping, well my goal is to be to bed, at least winding down and in bed by 10:30 each night, which would help me to get up and spend time with the Lord in the morning. Right now, it looks more like midnight and then scrambling to make it to the office on time, which you all have witnessed. Exercise is non-existent right now, except for walks every once in awhile. Once Trenton is hear, I desire to make exercise a priority in my life. I need the Lord to really change my heart in this. I desire to run three times a week maybe with Trenton, and get to a place where it is life giving to me. I admire Miki so much to hear her talk about what a sweet time exercising is for her. I want to understand that, get to that place and, I want to steward well what the Lord has given me.

My financial partners know....

well, honestly I feel greatly disconnected from them. They know what to pray for, especially specific students. I do desire to update them on our lives and all that the Lord has provided and blessed us with specifically our new home and the health of little Trenton, and the rich community in our lives. I am excited to have a summer of prioritizing connecting with them. It seems like such a gift from them Lord.
~Stephanie

That Last Post...

the last post was penned by Jamie Wagner

Module 4 Blogspot

I have experienced God as...
I have experienced Him as I seek forgiveness for the daily sins in my life, as I read His Word. I have begun experiencing Him more and more as Jesus, the man who came to save my life but who also desires for so much more for me: He desires for me to know the Father as He knows Him; He desires for me to live an abundant life; He desires for me to have His peace and love.

Each Person on my team has been a role model and an example to me. To be more specific...
Miki has experienced grace this year in front of us all, which has been so good for me to see.
Elizabeth has continued to move forward in reaching the Greek students on campus and set up the tea party even when it intimidated her.
Jamie has been very vulnerable sharing where she's at when she's struggling financially. It's great to see that everyone struggles sometimes.
Laurie is always on time or early to work and does her job without complaining and gets things done.
Stephanie always has a good attitude and a smile even when she's having a bad day.
Liz has maintained such faith and honesty through the midst of some very tough times and has used those times to share with others and glorify God.
Alan has really taken his disciples places and helped them grow and is continually meeting with them and challenging them to share with the people around them.
Ryan has a great sense of humor and keeps the office attitudes light.
Dustin has worked so hard at the College of Ed. stuff and continued showing up even when only girls come.
Danny is a role model in learning to be an adult and to have a budget and continue working on reiumbursements.
Eric has been very vulnerable in sharing when he's in pain and allowing us all in to his life.
Chris has loved his wife well and I am blessed to see such a great example of a Godly husband.
Will maintains the attitude of volunteerism in the office and is always willing to help people out when they need an extra hand.
Matt has also been very vulnerable in his times of need and pain.
David has moved out in faith many times within the Greek system and it's great to see what the Lord is doing through him in the bible studies he's started.
Mandy and Jason have kept at it on the support front and continue to trust God to provide even when their support goes down or stays stagnant.

If I forgot anyone...forgive me, there are a lot of people on our team.

~Emily

My Team PART ONE (1 of 5)

My team -

I figure we are lucky enough to have one of the greatest teams in our region so I'd like to take the time to say how each is a role model (even though this may be done in multiple posts)...

Ryan - It's easiest to start here. Ryan has so much faith in the Lord that it continually encourages me to trust that Lord will provide and will bring us through whatever situation we are in. He's a role model to me in how laid back he is and his deep appreciation for rest and relaxation. It teaches me to enjoy life and spend time doing the things that make me happy. This ultimately allows me to love people better...

Liz - Can I just clone her parenting skills???? Liz is SUCH a role model to me in godly parenting. Pair that with the idea that I have never seen Godly parenting in action she's one of the most beautiful people I know. Being a fellow performance struggler, she continually speaks to me heart about living in grace, letting balls drop, and being loved by the Lord even when we don't do those things. She's a tremendous role model of friendship, love, and being loved by the Lord exactly how you are.

Laurie - Laur's a role model to me because she's a tangible example of how the Lord can dramatically change someone's life if you allow Him to. She continually perserveres to find out who she is in the Lord, walks by faith in her placement for next year, but more importantly is realistic about her emotions in all situations. She doesn't try to live out of "where I should be" but is willing to bear all and really open up to what she is struggling with and where she is at emotionally. I admire that SO much in her.

David - Wow. Can I just say that David really took his placement for next year and went for it! I look up to David's proactiveness and see that in his life in so many ways. I admire how he took the initiative to start greek ministry in Lambda Chi and then didint start there but went for three more houses. I admire how he networked at DCC and took advantage of his time to meet with campus directors and see where he would be a good fit. I'm thankful call David my firend and value the role model he is for living life fully, always having a good time, and yet always being willing to be real and authentic with where he is at. Thanks for being such a great friend David.

I think I'll do 4 a day for the next few days....

Role Models

Lets make'em quick---Over the years Matt has brought me to understand evangelism and grace in incredibly clearer ways. Liz has shown examples of incredible love and following of a Christian wife and mother. Chris has been a great example of leadership of which I strive for. Elizabeth has been a great role model of going with new ideas and sharing wisdom. Miki is awesome at pursuing with joy. (You get a hold of that softball coach yet?) I would love to be able be able to talk to guys like Eric. Alan has a great way of being able to see the future of people and also has a great bit of wisdom. Stephanie shows great humor and innocence to ministry that I love. David has such an incredible heart for guys in greek houses and is an incredible example in many ways of how to do ministry that I want to apply in my life. Danny is a great example of learning and following the Lord in marraige that I really appreciate. Nicole is a great role model in taking steps of faith for ministry when it may not seem comfortable. Emily is an incredible example of how to be great friends to students which can make ministry easier. Will is a great role model of following the Lord even when it is very hard and painfull. Dustin is a role model in the way that he is seemingly always being led by the Lord into areas that are unfamliar to him. Also amazing that he leads Melissa into these areas as well (and his sick dirty skills on the fussball table). And of course last but not lead my beautiful wife who is an example in so many ways but mostly for her love of the Lord which she always wants to grow in and exude.
Rybo

I have experienced God as...

...a shepherd of me lately. Chris Gadsden's been having me do this experiment using Psalm 23. It's really got me thinking about the Lord being my shepherd and how He leads me. I really love this imagery. - Palf, (I wrote the last blog about Matt & Liz also)

Each person on my team has been a role model and an example to me. To be more specific,.....

...Matt has been an example of grace to me. He constantly surprises me by the depth of grace he extends to people.
...Liz has been an example of perseverance to me lately.

Each person on my team has been a role model and an example to me.

Matt & Liz have taught me a lot about "extoling the Lord at all times." They have modeled so well how to trust that the Lord is good, even in the midst of trials. It is obvious that the Lord has used these circumstances to develop their character and to minister to others. Their response to difficulties has challenged me to examine how I respond to hard times and strive to see that the Lord is good. - Laurie

I have experienced God as...

...a provider and protecter. With my current financial situation, I have seen the Lord already providing for my most immediate needs. Two supporters gave random one-time gifts without even knowing of my situation, and I received a small payment that I wasn't expecting from some property that my siblings and I own. I have also seen him as a protector; I imagine the Soularium picture of the hand holding the bird. Although my placement is uncertain and I have struggled with understanding "why" about certain situations, I've been able to see that the Lord has me in his hand and is protecting me from things I can't foresee. The past couple of months have been a really sweet time as I have grown in my trust in the Lord. -Laurie

I have experienced God as . . .

a gracious God. I know it cliche, but I have noticed more and more the depth of my depravity. I have seen only more and more sin in my life as I have gone deeper in my relationship with Christ. God has opened my to see the times when I can be so disobedient to Him. It is really quite shocking how quickly I can turn my back on the Lord. If I tried to think of all the times I have kicked Christ off the throne of my life, it is a mystery why God would be so forgiving. If I didn't have the promises of His grace through the Word, then I would not be where I am now.
-David

Role Models on my team

I think of myself as a really important role model on our team and other peoples lives. They haven't really told me that to my face. . . but I know its true. lol j/k
Ryan Wagner actually comes to mind as a role model of faith and perseverance. As I think about his journey in raising support and how he has persevered to be at where he is now, it is encouraging. And even now, as he has had to have faith in the Lord's calling (as their loans may prevent them from coming on staff this next year) he has never once complained or dishonored the Lord through their words. Every week in freshbread I see Ryan's tender heart for the Lord as he shares about what he has been learning. It is quite amazing to see his devotion to the Lord despite the challenges that he has endured in following HIm.
-David

Experiencing God

I have really been experiencing God through intense times with Him. I have been really excited to spend time with Him whenever I can. I feel as though He is really working and moving in my life. I desire transformation in my life, and He is responding by bringing that transformation in many different ways. Danny

role model

Will has really been a role model for me these last couple of weeks. After staying with him in Boulder and then talking with him the weeks following, I have a huge appreciation for his honesty and how he handles situations. In particular I have been amazed by how he has handled the situation with Amanda. Thanks for leading in that dude. Danny

Experiencing God

I have experienced God as ministry has just exploded this semester with the athletes! I am so thankful for the opportunities he has given me to go deeper with athletes from different teams and am eagerly awaiting what else he has in store! ~Mik

Role models on my team...

Each person on my team has been a role model and an example to me. To be more specific, Elizabeth has been so great to have this year! I am so thankful for the experience she brings to the team and how she has shepherded me, especially this semester :)
~Mik

Staff account balance...

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I am SO thankful for the faithful supporters the Lord has provided! It amazes me how God has always provided for me, even after purchasing a home last year and raising my salary. ~Mik

When students don't respond like I hoped for, I...

get discouraged. But then I realize I can't have impossible standards, or expect perfection from people. I have to remember that God is the one in control, the one who changes lives, not me. It reminds me to be on my knees even more. ~Mik

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions I...

Well a few weeks ago I would cry...pull all my hair out...light things on fire. But now it is a time of blessing and I am so thankful and grateful to the Lord. I do realize how much we still need the Lord to provide for and we are asking him for that of course but when I look at the account I see how we have what we need and thats all we ask.

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I . . .

. . . wonder how I am going to make it another month. God has miraculously provided in the past and I know He will provide but I know that I can't just sit back and let it happen. It's hard to not know how He is going to provide, and who He is going to provide through.
I am super blessed and thankful though. Because I went into last summer not knowing how he was going to provide but He did. And I stressed out during and after the summer trying figure out what I could do. Thankfully He blessed me through those next several people I asked.
-David

When students don't respond like I'd hoped I...

At first I probably think that I either did something wrong or could have done something better. Not that I did something wrong to them but that I could have approached something differently. Of course we want the best for every student so when someone doesnt' respond how we'd like its a little sad. But I know that God has them in their hands a lot more than I have the student in mine. So I like that.

Rybo

When students don't respond like I hoped for, I...

am usually disappointed, but rarely do I get hung up on the disappointment. What usually happens though, is that I then question my expectations. It's hard because I don't think I have high expectations, and that they are expectations that I have heard passed down from leadership. So there is this friction between what we are aiming for, and then what is reality.
David

When students don't respond like I hoped for, I...

am usually disappointed, but rarely do I get hung up on the disappointment. What usually happens though, is that I then question my expectations. It's hard because I don't think I have high expectations, and that they are expectations that I have heard passed down from leadership. So there is this friction between what we are aiming for, and then what is reality.

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I...

It makes me anxious. I always feel like I'm behind in support and I get depressed.

When Students Don't Respond Like I Hoped For, I...

I have a hard time not feeling like It's personal against me. I know that that's a problem and I need to get better at extending grace and having realistic expectations about them.

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I ....

...I am thankful. I see the Lord's continued and constant provision to us. I am also aware that I need to stay on top of these relationships with our ministry partners and raise new support. - Palf

Staff Account

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I am grateful for how the Lord has provided. I also see how he provides exactly what I need for each month. However, I would like for the monthly contributions to be a little higher. When I look at my account, I always tense up, because I realize I'm barely breaking even each month. I want to stay ahead of the game and raise new support before I need it.

-Laurie

When students don't respond like I hope for, I...

...tend to get discouraged initially. I struggle with being performance-oriented, so I feel a personal sense of failure when students don't respond in the way I had hoped. I generally respond this way when I'm not walking in the Spirit. I try to perform in ministry out of my own power, and that generally fails no matter what I do. When I am filled with the Spirit, relying on Him to work through me, it is much easier to continue trusting the Lord even when students don't respond how I had hoped. I do like to step back and evalute why they didn't respond well, but I can separate my own performance from the situation and look at things through the Lord's eyes.

-Laurie

When Students Don't Respond Like I Hoped for, I...

...get disappointed. I've had this happen a lot, especially in regards to DCC and other conference/retreat recruiting. It's really hard for me when they don't come or don't show up because I really believe that these events will bring a lot of truth and freedom to their lives. I think I am growing in my capacity to not get disappointed, but I'm still in progress. - Palf

Taking a day with the Lord is. . .

most of the time refreshing. There has been several times though that I feel like I am forcing it, and I walk away with any particular warm fuzzy 'feelings.' And its then when I doubt my time with the Lord, I wonder if Jesus ever felt that when he got away. . . if He would ever walk away not feeling any closer to God. It doesn't seem like it. It may be better to look at someone who wasn't fully God. . . How about David, he wrote Psalms and several of those were written out of frustration and I am sure He didn't feel anything warm and fuzzy after his times with the Lord.

My Sleep, Exercise and eating habits are...

Really good, I am feel like I have got back into a grove after a long break of being in transition and conferences. It is my goal to cook a little more and eat even better at home. I feel like the only reason I don't, is because I don't know how to. I would love to cook something new every two weeks, and I have yet to start but I WILL get there soon. :)
~David

Staff account and contributions

When I look at my staff account balance and contributions, I really see the Lord at work in ministry when it is going great. I am so quick to follow the ups and downs of MPD rather than look to the Lord to provide. I always have to remember that I am called to this ministry, and that the Lord would not call me to this ministry and not provide the funding. It is such a blessing when my account is full and looking great, or when an ask for funding goes really well. I have truly been blessed lately by the Lord using our supporters to drop notes of encouragement. I recently had a supporter send a note to Nicole congratulating her for getting into nursing school, and then telling us how proud she is of what we are doing here on campus and what a blessing it is to be involved. It was truly a blessing from the Lord to lift our spirits and give us energy.

Danny

Students responding differently than hoped.

I find it very tough to experience students responding differently than hoped for when it is negative. When I prepare and then share with a student and they do not respond as I have prayed or hoped for, I often find myself asking God why. He then ever so gently reminds me that all things are in His hands, and there is a purpose and plan in everything. On the other side of the coin when students respond positively and I thought it would be a negative reaction it really blesses me. I find myself taking credit for something that the Lord has done sometimes and others I do give Him the praise. It reminds me that I constantly must check my attitude towards what I have been doing and what the Lord has been doing.
Danny

My Financial Partners Know...

My financial partners know that I am involved with ministry and that I hang out with students at college. But sometimes I don't think they know much more than that. Once last year I was eating dinner with my cousin Troy (we are very close friends) and his wife. I was telling them about what I was up to and about a few things going on on campus. I was making sure that they had been getting my newsletters and asked them if they enjoyed them. Troy's wife said that they had but that she hadn't had much time to read them but she assured me that she loved the pictures. "Keep sending more pictures" she said. While I was talking, about some of the things included in my newsletter she stopped me and asked "what is it again that you do".
I want to make sure my partners know what is going on in my ministry and I want them to know what type of battle we are fighting on our campus. They need to know. I hope that they want to know but it seems that maybe the pictures are all that some of them care about and all that they need to be satisfied with how their money is being used for the Kingdom. When I go to my church at home, most people smile and say its good to see you but hardly any of them ask me what ministry is like on the Mizzou campus.

Dustin

My financial partners know...

My partners know most of the highlights of my ministry. It's hard though, because I try to encapsulate all the God has done and it never seems to capture the story, fully. I want so bad for all of my partners to have experienced what I experienced (realizing that is impossible). In order to get as close as I can though I try not to write a typical cookie cutter story. (Have you read those stories?) I try to use specific quotes and the feelings that people expressed, to help bring the story to life.

A day with the Lord

Taking a day with the Lord is...hard for me to do. I struggle to sit still, to be alone, and don't enjoy reading all that much. But, I really want to connect with the Lord, and I know that I long to spend more time with him. I think I need to think outside the box and spend some of that time worshipping Him while I swim, or through playing guitar, as well as by studying and praying and reading. ~Mik

My habits...

My sleep, exercise and eating habits are...getting better. After getting used to not having much of a regular schedule over the break, it has been a challenge getting to bed on time so that I'm ready to go in the morning. I've recently decided to cut back on sweets and caffeine...and am starting Pilates to try something new for exercise, thanks to my staff gift :) --Mik Mik

My Financial Partners Know...

My financial partners know that I truly enjoy being on campus at Mizzou where the Lord has placed me. They also know that I am extremely grateful for the way that they have sacrificially given to this ministry, both financially and in prayer. I hope that they know I enjoy continuing to deepen my friendships with them, which I like to see as a ministry in itself. My life would be extremely different without my supporters!!